Lies, damn lies, and statistics

It's election season and that means the topic of lies – who is lying, what they are lying about, why they lie – is in the news every day.  To be fair, politicians are the only ones who exaggerate the truth. Runners are notorious fibbers.   Today’s post I give you the top 10 running related lies.

1. “I am never doing that again.”  We have all had that moment, maybe during the race or maybe the next day as you try to get out of bed, when you think “never again”.   Most runners perform a complete 180 within 24 hours as when they sign up for their next race.

2. “I will only be gone for 30 minutes.”   Runners low-ball their run times for many reasons:  

Over confidence - the eternal optimist, I believe I will somehow hit that 7 minute/mile pace on my 10 mile run, even though I can barely run one mile that fast;

Justification - I have been guilty of trying to shoehorn a 60 minute workout into a 30 minute opeing in my schedule

Guilt:  If I admit my long run might take 3 hours, my family might not let me go.

3. “I really need those new (clothes, shoes, watch, etc.)”   Runners will try almost anything to justify buying a new toy.  Will that new GPS watch really make me faster? Will shaving 1 oz. off my shoe weight make any difference in my 5K time? No, but at least I will look good.

4. “It is okay, I am carbo loading.” – That fifth piece of pizza?  That second dessert?  That next beer or glass of wine?  All can be justified by thinking “I ran 4 miles today, I earned those calories.” 

5. “It doesn’t hurt that bad.”  Perhaps following the advice of my 5th grade gym teacher isn't the best idea and I can't just run it off.  I think runners are scared the doctor will prescribe the dreaded “r” word – rest.  Few things are more ornery than a runner who can’t exercise. 

To be fair, runners aren’t the only ones who lie.  It might be karma, or just plain cruelty, but I have heard well meaning spectacor utter many a lie.

6. “You are almost there.”   There is no such thing as “almost there” when running a marathon.  There is only ‘there’ and ‘not there’.   This is closely related to the next one..

7. “Only X more miles.”  Usually said by non-runners trying to be helpful.  While it might not be a lie, you don’t really understand how hard it can be to hear that despite how hard you have worked, you still have X more miles to go.     

8. “It is all downhill from here.” Really? Did laws of physics suddenly get repealed?  I am not sure which is worse, someone saying this, or me actually beleiving it.  

9. “Looking good.”  Umm, no.  I have seen the pictures.  No matter how hard I try to look relaxed and fit, ever race picture ends up making me look like a zombie trying to pass a kidney stone.  

 Did I say I would list 10 fibs?  Oops, guess I must have lied.